is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just puked most of my soul out..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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