Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
