Pappa wants mamma naked
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
