His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
