i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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