they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
