508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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