Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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