oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Terrible idea I love it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
