just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
