She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
