he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
