Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
