I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
