Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize