meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
