We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
