OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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