sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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