yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
