I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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