ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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