Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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