I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
