it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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