Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize