Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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