Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
