The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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