just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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