The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
