plz talk dirty to me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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