Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
