idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
