Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
