Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My cat gives me a boner
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
