if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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