She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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