I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
