you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
