she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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