A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
