theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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