I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Can Purell be used as lube?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize