My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
