In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
