I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
