Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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