its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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