Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
