I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
oh god the rape fog is back!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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