I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I wish you could order shots online.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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