Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize