I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
