He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
