Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
