You can't motorboat a personality
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
