You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
