proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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