I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize