Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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