He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
