i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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