Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She bit a glass in half.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
